K and I had our first consultation with the fertility center yesterday. After the research I had done on my own and in the process coming across a very un-LGBT friendly fertility center in NYC of all places, K and I were ready for battle. During the encounter with the fertility center in NYC via phone and email I was informed that a direct donation– that is, a donation that is not quarantined for 6 months– would only be possible if the donor was my intimate partner. In other words, if there is sex then direct donation is possible. No sex, no direct donation. So… that pretty much excludes us lezzies (and a small group of other folks) from receiving direct donation sperm for either IVF or IUI. Knowing that a fertility center in NYC had such a discriminatory policy, what should I expect from a fertility center in the South?
So as I said, we were fully prepared to go in there with guns blazing. The wonderful part is that we didn’t need to. I don’t know what that fertility center’s problem is in NYC and I’m half-tempted to put them on blast, but I will resist the urge. For now. I am baffled that such a discriminatory policy is even allowed to exist at all. If a fertility center in North Carolina, a decidedly anti-LBGT (especially the ‘T’ and especially if those folks need to use the bathroom!) state with a baptist church on practically every corner can provide us with direct donation for IUI, then NYC should truly be ashamed of themselves. The encounter with the fertility center in NYC left me feeling like I needed to protect myself from hostile practitioners. But the fertility center here has restored my faith in the fertility world. I feel safe working with our fertility specialist. What a relief.
The first thing that we talked about was about my MS. Was it controlled? Was I taking meds? How was I doing? What were my symptoms? In short, I am so extremely lucky to be able to say that MS affects me very little. The subject of interventions such as IUI and IVF came up and there was lengthy discussion about fertility meds and safety in regards to MS relapse rate. I wanted to know what was possible and the very encouraging answer was that I can do IVF safely if I choose. For now though I am going to stick with the at-home inseminations for a few more months before we move on to IUI.
The doctor was in agreement with K and I about my short luteal phase. She wants to try me on letrozole and progesterone to regulate my cycle. I told her that I was currently taking B6 and vitex for lengthening my luteal phase and she recommended that I continue to do that. She also suggested that I begin taking CoQ10 and omegas. I have been doing smoothies with huge heaps of flax seed in them so I will just continue that. K and I picked up some CoQ10 on the way home at Costco*.
The doctor also recommended that I get some additional lab work as well as suggested that I move forward with an ultrasound and an HSG. I am scheduled for those next week on Monday. I am not looking forward to either test but especially not the HSG. I’ll keep you all posted.
All in all, the fertility center appointment went really well. I feel like we got what we needed out of it and the doctor seemed to understand that what we wanted was support forming a TTC plan and help fine tuning my body to make a baby. She got that without us having to defend our position. K and I both felt relieved and hopeful leaving the office.
Questions for the readers out there: who has had a HSG? How was it? I’ve heard it’s pretty darn painful, what advice do you have for someone who is about to get one done?
*ah, Costco…Sometimes I look at my life and wonder how a wild child from a seriously dysfunctional family became so domesticated.