Catch Up Post

It’s been awhile!

Ok, so I need to get this blog back up to speed. It’s been about 8 weeks since  my last post and I had promised some details about our first insemination cycle. I will start there and then give further updates about my cycle and upcoming appointments. So, get a cup of tea and a snack it’s gonna be a long one.

So, the insemination… in short, it was weird. I’m a very private person. I’m introspective. I’m introverted (Except with K. She would say that belting out George Michael in the living room on a Saturday morning is decidedly NOT introverted). It took me months to fess up to K that I wanted to have a baby. Months. And then another few months before we talked openly about temping and OPK’s. And discussing TTC with my brand new gynecologist literally raised my blood pressure about 15 points and right out of the normal range. So, you can imagine that sitting in a hotel bed with a guy whacking it into a soft cup in the bathroom was probably one of the more anxiety-provoking experiences of my life. Our donor is a great guy and he did everything to make the experience as efficient and respectful as possible but all I could think is: “this needs to work!” Alas, it did not.

I think it failed for a couple of reasons:

1) I have an irregular cycle and I had not been temping long enough to establish when I ovulate. I assumed I would ovulate on CD16 but I actually ovulated on CD18 and have done so for every cycle since. This means that we did the inseminations too early. Rookie mistake. It was a costly lesson. I think we spent close to $1500 on that cycle with dog boarding, airfare, hotel, and car rental. I did get 4 inseminations from it which is way more than what would have been possible with a sperm bank, so at least there’s that?

2) My luteal phase is short– only 9 days. Once it was 8 days. So, while this cycle did not work it was a good practice run for fine tuning our process. I know now that even if the inseminations had been successful I probably would not have gotten pregnant with a luteal phase so short.

Which is a very nice segway into the remaining 6 weeks since I last posted.

When we got home from New England, I had a bit of a freak out that we went up there and blew all that money on inseminations that did not work. I was so ashamed that we timed it wrong and felt like I wasted everyone’s time by not having a better understanding of my cycle. Being the gestating partner is a lot of pressure. There are many people looking to you expecting you to have expert knowledge of your body’s esoteric processes. It felt overwhelming. It did not help that our sweet but bitchy dog got herself kicked out of day care for picking fights with not one, but two dogs while we were gone. Sigh. We still have not figured out a good plan for the next time we leave town.

Anywho, once I was done having my meltdown I realized that I needed to get my luteal phase sorted out and quick! I had previously researched all about lengthening it via Dr. Google and decided upon two options, vitamin B6 and Vitex. Both are known to support production of progesterone so I thought that would be a good place to start. There are other things as well but I won’t get into a big discussion over that because then I may as well call this a book and not a blog post! I decided against medication because I did not want to artificially produce progesterone, just support my body in making more naturally.

I started the B6 prior to the inseminations in February and was very hopeful that it would work to extend my luteal phase. I thought it worked because I did not start my period until the evening of DPO9. But I still started. Grrrrr. Not wanting to waste another cycle going the home remedy route I messaged my gyno to ask about prescribing progesterone or something else to address my short luteal phase.

You might be wondering what happened with the Vitex. Well, I’ll tell you. See, wanting to have the purest most effective form possible I stupidly ordered a vitex powder. The directions said to mix it with juice. I figured I could just add it to a smoothie. No. N-O. That stuff is fucking HORRIBLE tasting. And it’s not a powder that dissolves, since it’s you know, a ground up seed and not granules of sugar. So yeah. Just a heads up: Vitex is miserably bitter and gritty. Do not believe the directions to mix it with a glass of juice. You have been warned! I had to order the largest gelatin capsules I could find and encapsulate the Vitex myself in order to take it as a supplement. I was so put off by the taste I didn’t get around to it for a long, long while.

Ok, back to my gyno. It seemed like it took forever to get a response. But when she wrote back she did not agree to write a prescription like I had hoped. Instead, she referred me to a fertility center. I had been tip toeing around this, hoping I wouldn’t have to make an appointment while simultaneously wishing for the guidance that such an appointment might provide. That appointment is coming up on April 3rd. I am relieved and nervous about it. Especially the financial part. I need to call and find out how much I can expect this consult to cost since my insurance does not cover it. Ugh.

Right now, you might be wondering about my March cycle. In this long, verbose monologue about the woes of baby making not once have I alluded to us planning or executing insemination attempts. Well, as with everything on here there is a story about that. First off, I finally got around to ordering and encapsulating the Vitex so pretty soon after the start of my current cycle I began taking 3 large capsules of vitex along with the prenatal, 6,000 IU of vit D, and B6 every evening. A week or so into the cycle we began making preparations to have our donor ship sperm. I think shipping sperm probably needs it’s own post so I won’t go into a lot of detail, but we got him the boxes. He was wonderful enough to agree to shipping to us at least three times (have I mentioned that he is super committed and easy to work with?). Most donors only want to ship once.

Anywho, we had just spent a few hundred bucks sending sperm shipping kits up to Mike and were planning to begin shipments the next day. Cue the phone call. I didn’t answer–K went ahead and called him back and it was both a relief and, well… You see, our donor had suffered an injury. A masturbatory injury. There was blood. How do I know? He sent us a picture of the blood. Poor guy tore his foreskin. Ouch. So, needless to say, he had to seek medical attention and needed time to recuperate. So officially we were out for March. I was a bit relieved because my cycle and the Fertility Friend algorithm had been acting strange so I was afraid we were getting the timing wrong again. K and I thought about sending him a get well card and a bottle of lube. We still might. Any guys out there reading have strong feelings about brands?

That brings us up nearly to date. The last tidbit is that today is DPO11 and I just started my period. I finally made it past DPO9. 😀 I’m not sure what worked. I have been very consistent with the B6, vit D, and prenatal so maybe I just needed more time with that? I took the vitex for probably a week, maybe 10 days in the middle of my cycle and then ran out of filled capsules. I’ve been sick the last 10 days or so and the combination of mild cold fatigue, plus my typical PMS fatigue was amplified exponentially by the underlying MS fatigue. So there was no energy for anything beyond basic care and making it to work. I will continue with the vitex though. I’m hoping to extend my luteal phase into a much more healthy range for a pregnancy.

So, that’s the update on the last 8 weeks. 🙂 What have you all been up to the last 8 weeks? Anyone have a success in their TTC journey? Doesn’t have to be a BFP, maybe you made some progress on choosing donor sperm or you booked a consultation with a fertility center. Maybe you lengthened your luteal phase with herbs and vitamins too! Leave a comment and let’s give a little support to each other.



2 thoughts on “It’s been awhile!

  1. Is it terrible that we are going to begin TTC in a few months and I only understood about half of what you were talking about? I think I may need to start doing some reading. We are going to use a clinic right off the bat (we are SUPER fortunate that my wife has good insurance), and we have our first appointment with what we think is the clinic for us tomorrow. Fingers crossed. We have narrowed our donor list down to a very small 20 or so (haha, my sarcasm may not translate well in text….obviously we have some serious paring down to do!), but it is starting to FEEL real. I can’t imagine how exciting it must be at your stage in the game and I only hope that your next try is stress free and successful!! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Ha! I think you have just made it apparent that I should probably do an abbreviations and definitions page for my blog! I didn’t know most of it either but you will learn as you go. I just added a page to my blog that goes over what we have used so far while TTC. I would strongly recommend tracking your cycles and confirming that you are in fact ovulating using the OPK’s. It takes a couple of months to get the timing right. I put a suggested reading section on that page as well. Right now there is only one book listed– Taking Charge of Your Fertility– but it’s a great and informative read as you start out. I found some of it not applicable and maybe a little bit ranty even, but parts of it felt empowering too. Another thing I have found *incredibly* helpful are the plethora of TTC subreddits on Two that come to mind right now are and Congrats on getting this process started. I really think that’s the most overwhelming part and you’re doing it! One foot in front of the other. I’ll send over some happy, low-anxiety thoughts to you for your visit tomorrow.


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